Lifes good Sorta
by supermegafoxieawesomehot
Summary: Meredith and Derek are married. Meredith is pregnant. Everything is perfect but how long will perfection last? And if tragedy does strike will Meredith ever be able to come back from it?
1. Chapter 1

A/N:Hey All! So i just became a fan of Grey's (I fell hard and fast for the show... expecially Meredith) I've had friend try t get me to watch it but i was always like noway that's a stupid show... and then i watched one eppisode (Where Meredith drowns) and I'm now crazy about it! So anyway's I hope you like the story and please review your feedback will determine if i go on or not... sorry for any grammar mistakes.

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Meredith Grey sat in the residents locker room clinging to Izzie Stevens hand as if it was her life line. Her heart was thumping wildly in her chest threatening to jump out at any moment. The next five minutes could change her life forever. She wanted this, her and Derek both wanted this. But she couldn't help but be afraid. What if she ended up like her mother and screwed this kid up? She clinged tighter to Izzie's hand and looked at her helplessly.

"Has it been five minutes yet?", She asked quietly.

"Four." Izzie smiled.

Now normally it would be Cristina with her for this sort of thing or her husband but as both of them where in surgery they were unavailable and her next choice was without a doubt Izzie. She also would have normally done blood work or an ultrasound instead of buying a pregnancy test while on lunch break and sneaking off to the locker room with one of her best friends. But she didn't want the whole hospital to know before she got a chance to tell Derek like last time. A loud shriek from Izzie shook her out of her thoughts. Meredith's head snapped up and she looked at Izzie expectedly.

"Well?", She demanded fidgeting

"Your totally pregnant. Or at least this thing says you are. We should do like I don't know an ultrasound isn't that what Cristina did last time you thought yo were pregnant? This is seriously so cool Mer." , Izzie exclaimed clapping her hands together.

"Holy shit." Meredith whispered snatching the pregnancy test away from Izzie to look at it herself. Sure enough there was a little plus sign on it. Meredith almost passed out.

"I need to talk to Derek." She muttered

With that she rushed out of the locker room without another word to Izzie who stood in the doorway watching her run out of the bathroom confused as to why she wasn't currently jumping up and down. In her haste to find Derek she ran into Christina.

"Um I thought you were in surgery." Meredith said a little loud.

"Was in surgery I just got out."

"Oh cool, cool were is Derek?"

Cristina sighed and pointed at a room across the hall. Every since the two of them got married Cristina and Meredith weren't quiet the same it was almost like Meredith didn't have the time for her anymore.

"Thanks.", she smiled at her person and hurried to the room. Through he window she could see him talking to a patient. She knocked lightly on the window to make her presence know and smiled at him. He looked at and gave her smile but it didn't quiet reach his eyes like the smiles she was used to. He held up his hand to tell her he would only be a minute and continued on with what he was telling the patient. Five minutes later he stepped out of the room.

"Bad day?", She asked kissing him lightly on the lips. She Put her arms around his neck and gave him a bright smile.

"Just had to tell a patient the surgery was a failure and he's only got a couple months to live. So yeah today kind of sucks." He said a little bitter sounding he ran his fingers through his unruly dark hair.

"Well I have some news for you that may make your day better."

"Oh yeah and what's that?" He asked pushing her lightly against the hospital wall.

She sighed and stroked his unshaved cheek tracing his jaw line. She knew she was stalling she was nervous as hell that he would be upset but the news she didn't know why she thought that though. They already had a kids bedroom in their house actually a couple extra bedrooms that they said would be for their future children

"I'm pregnant." She said so quietly he almost couldn't hear her. He looked shocked they had talked about it and were even about to start trying but they thought they should hold off so Meredith could advance further in her career.

"Pregnant, pregnant? Like there's a baby inside you kind of pregnant?" He asked quietly.

"Yeah, Pregnant like your going to be a father and I'm going to be a mother pregnant." She laughed standing on the tip of her toes to kiss his lips. He looked at her blankly for a moment longer before a smile broke over his face and he pulled her up to kiss her passionately. They knew they would probably get in trouble for kissing in the hall while they should be working but neither could bring themselves to care. They were going to have a baby. Finally they would be a family.

"Sheppard."

The broke apart and both said yes at the same time causing them to both laugh. It was the Chief of surgery.

"I believe the both of you have a surgery to get to." He said giving them a stern look that said they were being extremely unprofessional. Meredith and Derek said their good byes both of them grinning like idiots and hurried off to their respective surgery. They couldn't help but think that life was good.


	2. Her person

"Cristina, Cristina please talk to me your being ridiculous about this!", Meredith called down the hall. It had been a week since she told Derek that she was pregnant. And the news of her pregnancy had spread fast. So fast that she was unable to tell Cristina herself. Causing her to be a little more then pissed off at Meredith.

Cristina spun around almost causing her and Meredith to collide. "It doesn't even bother me that I didn't know before everyone else that I can live with because Derek is you husband. And this whole damn hospital has a big mouth. It's the fact that you didn't tell me when you thought you might be pregnant. And that you took a pregnancy test with Izzie instead of me! I'm your person Meredith!"

"I know and I'm sorry I was just so scared and so anxious I wanted to know right away. You were in surgery."

"I would have waited five damn minutes for my best friend to be at my side rather then settling for someone who wasn't."

"Hey! Your not my only friend Izzie is to!", She felt like a teenager for saying that.

"Izzie isn't your person Meredith we are each others person!", Cristina said in a whispered yell. Meredith was now aware that every person in the hall was staring at them including Izzie. Christina also looked around and noticed them all looking at her.

"What?" She snapped at the assorted doctors and nurses. Everyone quickly busied themselves with something.

"Come one we haven't said a friendly word to each other in the last week. I wanted to tell you this and you be happy for me not stop talking to me because I didn't take the pregnancy test with you!"

Cristina sighed and rolled her eyes. "I have to get to surgery."

"Ugh whatever when your ready to be friends again give me a call! I'm not dealing with this I should be happy, but since your acting like a bitch I can't be!"

Cristina ignored her and continued down the hall. Meredith sunk down in a chair trying to calm herself before she got back to work. After a good ten minuets she stood up and headed off to look for her husband. She walked around the hospital for a while she found him in his office doing paper work.

"Hey Sheppard.", Meredith said from the doorway with a coy smile gracing her lips. He looked up from his paperwork and smiled at her. Motioning for her to come over. She slowly made her way to his desk and settled her self in his lap.

"How are you?", she asked quietly kissing his lips.

"Hmm sleepy. What's wrong Mer you seem upset?"

Meredith sighed and shifted in his lap. "Cristina's being… well Cristina and she will not talk to me."

"She'll come around, don't worry she's just hurting right now. Your not as dark and twisty as you used to be and she's having a hard time dealing with that right now."

"Yeah I know. But I'm pregnant and, she's my best friend she should be here for me right now."

"Give her time to adjust to this okay. You and me having a baby means less time for you and Christina and you already don't spend as much time with her as you used to."

"You're right." Meredith whispered as realization hit her. "Every since the wedding I've been on this high and haven't really included her."

"Not your fault. Newlyweds are always on a high.", He said. He kissed her neck lightly. "Constantly wanting each other all the time, can't keep their hands off one another." He kissed her again. And she allowed a soft moan to escape her lips.

"You know what they say about pregnant women?", Meredith asked in a low sultry voice.

"No, what's that?"

She pressed her lips against his neck and hummed. "Hormones, those damn hormones make us horny all the time."

"Is that so?" He asked with a grin his hands snaking their way up her shirt fingering at her bra straps. He pushed the sleeves of her shirt off her shoulders and kissed the newly exposed skin.

She nodded and moved so that she was straddling him. "And then they go find their hot husbands with perfect hair and," She paused as her pager went off. She groaned loudly. And snatched it from her belt. "And then their pager goes off and they have to be all hot and bothered all damn day." she said getting up from his lap.

"Come on Meredith that's no fair.", He pouted.

"We'll finish this tonight pretty boy." She laughed and gave him a long slow kiss before she exited the office were she spotted Izzie and called out for her to wait up."

"So what's going on?"

"Trauma." Izzie said. "Five car pile up on the freeway. Seriously grotesque." , Izzie looked over at her.

"Whoa your where having sex.'' Izzie laughed.

"What? Why- why would you say that?" , Meredith stuttered

" 'cos you have that glow. That I almost had sex glow."

"There is no I almost had sex glow. However there is a 'I just had sex glow' and I didn't just have sex so I wouldn't have a glow… Maybe your confusing it with the pregnant glow."

"Fine don't tell me all the McNasty details of your marriage with McDreamy. I don't need to live vicariously through you. We have a trauma to deal with anyway." She shrugged and grabbed a gurney. And rushed off to the ER with a patient.

Meredith looked on at the people being taken from the emergency vehicles and into the hospital, her stomach was doing flip flops as she looked on at the bloody people. She turned around quickly and emptied the contents of her stomach behind a nearby bush. When she was positive she could handle it she busied herself with helping get people out of the emergency vehicles and into the ER.

It was going to be a long nine months if it continued like this.

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A/N: So did you know that blockbuster has Grey's seasons? Yeah they do! Sorry I just found that out today and i'm like freaking out!

Anyways lol, tell me what you think, I adore reviews! No flames though please...


	3. Baby names

Meredith Grey walked through the halls of Seattle Grace with a smile on her face. She was six months pregnant and had been on maternity leave for a month. It felt nice to be back in the hospital after being away for so long even though she couldn't work. Seeing the doctors hurry off to their surgeries or whatever they where doing oddly calmed her.

Since she had been staying at home, she'd been antsy hardly able to sit down. It was safe to say that her house was probably the cleanest house in Seattle. And Derek was the most well fed husband. Okay so maybe she didn't cook the food herself seeing as she can't. But Izzie had been really helpful since they found out about the baby.

But today she couldn't take being at home so much anymore. Over the past few years she had grown used to not having any free time and now that she had it she had no idea what to do with it. She was bored deathly bored. So she decided to treat her husband to a lunch date. That is if he wasn't in a surgery and if he was then she would just have lunch with one of her many friends that worked with her.

She knocked lightly on his office door. "He's in surgery Dr. Grey." Bailey Said from behind her.

Meredith turned around an sighed. "Hey Dr. Bailey. How are you?"

"I am just fine. How are you. Can't stay away from the hospital can you?"

Meredith laughed. "No I can't I'm bored out of my mind on maternity leave."

"Oh god hon. So was I."

"So how long has he been in surgery?" She asked some what hopeful that he was about to be done so they could enjoy a nice lunch together. But she knew the likelihood of him being done with a surgery before lunch was slim to nothing.

"He wont be out for hours Grey." She smiled sympathetically at her. She remembered when she had been pregnant with tucker and was forced into maternity leave. It too drove her insane and all she wanted most the time was to spend time with her husband or really anybody as long as she wasn't alone.

"But Cristina and Izzie went down for some lunch about five minuets ago."

Meredith nodded and thanked her before she headed off to the elevator in search of her friends. After about a week Christina came around and accepted that she was no longer the most important thing in Meredith's life a very essential part but not the most important and that she needed to give her friend a break. She was after all pregnant and scared shitless about it. So after that things began to get back to normal for them. Meredith tried to include her more by setting aside a weekly dinner for just the two of them. And so far it had been working perfectly. Meredith finally felt like she was getting her life under control.

She reached the cafeteria and spotted them with George and Alex across the room. She made her way through the maze of tables and chairs and took a seat next to Izzie.

"Hey guys." she smiled and took a handful of fries from Alex's plate.

"Hey! My fries!" He said he pulled his plate out of Meredith reach.

"Hey ass I'm pregnant I need food." She snapped at him. She reached out of her back pocket and pulled out a ten. "I take it back Alex your not an ass you're the nicest guy I've ever had the pleasure of being friends with."

"What do you want?" He said giving her a weird look.

"Why do I always have to want something? I can't just be nice?"

Alex laughed. "Normal you can. Normal you is very nice. However pregnant you is really mean and kind of scary."

"Aw poor baby… But yeah I do want something… could you be ever so kind and go get me some lunch?"

Alex sighed and snatched the ten out of her hand. She yelled thank you at his back.

"So Mer how's you off time going.", Izzie asked stabbing at her salad.

Meredith glared at her. "Living hell I would much rather be operating on someone then sitting at home and cleaning twenty-four seven."

"Oh I'm sorry." she said "So changing subject. Have you got any baby names?"

"Hmm oh yeah, Logan Connor for a boy and Emma Grace if it's a girl."

"I still can't believe you wont find out the sex it's killing us.", Christina said,

"I like those names."

"You like what names?", Alex asked. He sat the plate in front of Meredith and kissed Izzie on the cheek.

"Logan Conner and Emma Grace for our baby.", Izzie said with a serious look on her face.

Alex coughed on his drink and stared at her his eyes getting wider by the second. "Our what?"

Everyone at the table laughed. "Oh god that was fun." Izzie said once she had stopped laughing long enough to speak.

Alex scolded at her, "Don't do that again Iz."

The rest of lunch went by quickly most of it consumed with stories of the OR and what Meredith had missed while she had been gone. Like did she know that mark and one of the nurses had been caught in the chief's office with their pants down. And now they were both on probation. And the nurse just so happened to be Rose the one that Derek was seeing while the two had been broken up. She almost laughed at that one mark was really good at going after people Derek had already been with weather he meant to do it or not.

After lunch Meredith said her goodbyes and headed up to the maternity wing of the hospital she wasn't completely ready to go home just yet. She stared on at the new born infants and couldn't keep from smiling she could hardly wait until her baby was born. She stood there staring at the babies before her cell phone went off and she headed home to prepare dinner (okay a frozen pizza) for her husband .

_**A/N: Hey guys… so whatcha think of the names? **_

_**Oh and I promise that things will start happening soon all this is filler up until I get to the big stuff… **_

**_If you review i will give you a cookie!! (okay so maybe i wont but it's the thought that counts right? I mean i wll want to give you a cookie so that counts... right?_**


	4. So sorry

Meredith sat in her big empty kitchen staring sadly out into space. She hated being alone. Before she took her internship with Settle Grace she loved it. The quiet seemed so peaceful no drama no problems. Now she would give anything for the mayhem of the hospital the drama that Izzie and Alex brought into her house.

Meredith checked her watch for the umpteenth time that day and saw it was almost six thirty. Derek would be home at seven to take her to a movie and dinner. The past few weeks he had been working late and wanted to make it up to her so he promised her a night out.

She smiled to herself. Derek was so excited about the baby. Every minute he spent off he was trying to be better prepared for the baby. And he talked about him or her all the time. What they would do when they once it was born. How he wanted a little girl so she would look just like her mother and be just like her mother.

Every since she told him she was pregnant it had been that way. She couldn't wait for it to be born. The idea that she had created a little person with the man she loved so much amazed her. Before it didn't seem like such a amazing feat but now that she was actually doing it. It was just- breathtaking.

She whished her mother could see her now. She had accomplished something that her mother never was able to. She had achieved a perfectly balanced life she wasn't just a surgeon. She was a wife and a mother also. And she would be the best mother to her child she could possibly be.

She was snapped out of her thoughts by the front door opening. She jumped up from the chair she was seated in and met Derek at the door.

"Hey baby." Derek said kissing her on the cheek. He got down on one knee and kissed her stomach. "Hello baby Sheppard." She said to her stomach.

"The baby and I missed you."

"I missed the both of you as well.'' He smiled. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yep." She said fallowing him into the living room.

"Alright I'm just going to take a shower and we can go."

She smiled at him devilishly. "Would you like some help getting… cleaned up?"

"Hmm as tempting as that sounds Mer I think your idea of 'cleaning up' will not actually getting any cleaning up done."

"Your sure?"

"Later tonight when we get home. We have reservations in an hour. Okay?"

Meredith crossed her arms across her chest and pouted at him but she nodded any ways and sat back down on the couch. Thirty minuets later Derek came out in a pair of dress pants a button up shirt and tie. She stood p and waddled over to him tugging at his tie she whispered in a low husky voice.

"Now with you looking like that how am I supposed to behave myself."

"No one say's you have to." Derek replied

Meredith gave him a look that clearly said 'don't do that to me'. Since she got pregnant she had wanted Derek even more then she ever had before. She opened the door and disappeared into the darkness and climbed into the car. Derek fallowed suit and drove out of the driveway.

"So what are we doing exactly?", she asked intertwining her fingers with his.

"Can't tell you it's a surprise."

Meredith frowned, "Pregnant women don't like surprises."

"You'll love this one, I promise okay." , he glanced at her and kissed her softly on the lips. In the couple seconds that he had taken his eye's off the road someone else had swerved into their lane.

"Derek watch out!", Meredith yelled before she felt the impact of the two cars slamming into one another and then everything went black.

He wasn't sure how long he had been out when he woke up, but when he did the other car had disappeared. He looked over at Meredith she was covered in blood although he couldn't tell where all the blood was coming from. His seat belt was broken and the airbag out. He knew he had to get out of the car soon if Meredith and the baby where going to live through this. First he tried the door it was jammed. He quickly took his shirt off and wrapped it around his hand. He punched the glass out of the window and climbed out.

Now it was time to get Meredith out. He did the same as before. And pulled her out and away from the car, checked her pulse, weak but there, he ran back to the car and somehow managed to get his jacket out he balled it up in a makeshift pillow for Meredith. He took the shirt that was still wrapped around his hand and pressed it against the wound in her head from where it had hit the windshield.

Next he took out his cell phone and dialed 911.

"911 What's your emergency?"

"My wife and I have been involved in a hit and run. She's got a pulse but is knocked out and bleeding profusely from the head. She's also seven months pregnant." He said in a rushed voice.

"Sir what is your location."

"I don't know." He said. He was officially panicking, this was not how he envisioned the night.

"Okay sir I have your location. A ambulance will be there in ten minuets."

Derek closed the phone, all he could do now was wait.

Cristina sank down on the floor with a sigh. She had been working for the past twenty-four hours with no breaks, she was hungry tiered and in dire need of a shower. Just as she had began to fall asleep against the wall her pager when off.

Trauma.

Cristina let out another sigh and rushed off to the ER.

"Dr. Bailey, what's going on?"

"Ambulance should be here soon with a hit and run victim pregnant women and her husband."

Cristina nodded and waited. Soon enough a ambulance sped up to the hospital and unloaded a pregnant women covered in blood. Cristina gasped.

"Dr. Bailey that's Meredith!" She exclaimed her heart suddenly stopped at the sight of her person lying on the gurney. Derek jumped out of the ambulance and fallowed them down the hall.

"No, Sheppard Yang you two need to get out of my way now." She ordered.

"No I can help Miranda!", Derek said.

"Me too!", Cristina yelled.

"You know the rules no treating loved one's. Waiting room now both of you."

"Miranda please…", Derek trailed off hopelessly.

"I'll take care of her Derek don't worry."

Derek nodded and stopped walking along with Dr. Bailey. And headed off for the waiting room. Cristina was on fallowing closely behind him. He fell down into a chair and looked at helplessly.

"What am I going to do Cristina? What if something happens to her or the baby?"

"They'll be okay. They have to be."

They lapsed into silence for the next hour before Dr. Bailey came into the waiting room her hands covered in Meredith's blood. She looked so… defeated.

"Derek I'm so sorry…"

_**A/N: Don't hate me! I wouldn't blame you if you did but still please don't hate me. I promise I will make it up to you! Do you wan like a cookie or something? Anyways… Please review they make me smile and act all giddy you can ask my little brother who's a bit freaked out by me after I read everyone's review!**_


	5. Broken

Derek stared at her, he seemed to have lost his voice. This couldn't be happening Meredith could be… gone. She had survived so much more then just a stupid car crash. This couldn't be what was going to kill her.

"What do you mean your sorry? You said you would take care of her!" Cristina shouted.

Bailey frowned tears coming to her eyes. "The trauma from the impact and the blood loss was to much for the baby."

"Meredith?", Derek managed to get out.

Bailey looked relieved to give at least some good news. "She's sleeping."

Derek bit the sides of his cheek in an attempt not to lose it in front of everyone. Just hours before he was going to be a father. He was going to have something he had wanted for so long. And now it was all gone. And he knew that no matter how strong Meredith was there was no coming back from this. It seemed as if the world was intent on making her life a living hell.

"Have you told her?", he asked

"No."

Derek nodded "I want to see her."

"Of course." He fallowed bailey down the halls of the hospital until they reached her room and she left him alone.

Derek took a seat next to Meredith's bed and took her hand in his. He kissed it lightly. He couldn't believe this was happening. He couldn't believe the baby was gone. He didn't want to believe it. Everything hurt. It hurt to breath to blink even to just think it hurt. He wanted to wake up and realize it was all just a dream a horrible sick dream. But it wasn't this was reality and he had to be strong, for Meredith.

He looked up just in time to see her eye's flutter open. His heart stopped and he wished she would sleep for a little longer. So he could prolong the pain what she would be feeling as soon as she realized what happened.

She looked over at him. There was no doubt that he looked like a mess. He still had his blood stained close on and his eyes where red and swollen from crying. She didn't say anything. He watched as her hand reached up and skimmed across her stomach. She looked at him silently asking the question she could not bare to say out loud. He shook his head.

He climbed into the bed with her and wrapped his arms around her . She shook as sobs worked her tiny body. Derek couldn't help but let everything go and cry along with her. He wasn't sure how they where going to get through this but her knew he would do anything, anything at all to make sure she wasn't upset like this ever again.

* * *

"I can't believe this is happening!" Izzie said sitting down in the in-between Cristina and George. She poked at her salad and frowned.

"Well it is.", Cristina said bluntly. Izzie glared at her.

"Have you even been to see her yet?", Izzie snapped.

"Iz." George said in warning tone.

"No George. It's been a week and She still hasn't been to see her best friend I kind of think that's a little fucked up!"

"It's none of your business!"

"Well she needs you Cristina for once be a little freaking human."

Cristina glared at her. "Suddenly I'm not so hungry." snapped Cristina. She stood up and threw her lunch away with one last glare in Izzie's direction she was gone.

Cristina paced back in forth in front of Meredith's hospital room. She couldn't do it, she couldn't go in there and confront her when she wasn't even sure she had gotten over losing her own baby. Confronting Meredith would be like she was facing her problems head on. She would for the first time in a while remember what she had forced herself to forget. Burke.

She put a hand on the cold glass window Meredith was lying in her hospital bed staring off into nothing. Ever time she came by that's what Meredith had been doing. She let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding and walked away.

She couldn't do it, she wasn't ready she wasn't even sure if she ever would be.

* * *

"Are you ready?" He asked Meredith a week later as he helped her into the wheelchair. She nodded but sad nothing that's how it had been for the past two weeks she hadn't said a word to him since she had woken up. He knew this wouldn't be easy on her but he didn't expect her to just stop speaking to him completely.

He sighed and pushed her out of the hospital and home. Maybe there she would start doing better. He hoped she would at least.

**_A/N: Okay so I know you guys hate me bt i promise i will get better i SWEAR okay? I wish i didnt have to do this but i did and well just dont hate me._**


	6. Do it for him

She wished she would have just died in that car crash. It would have been so much easier to just not be alive anymore. It seemed like the universe was intent on breaking her. And after all these years it finally had. She wondered what she did to deserve this. She wasn't a bad person, she saved life's on a daily basis. She had already had so much taken from her. What the hell happened to karma. Shouldn't she have like a billon karma points racked up by now? She probably used them all up all the times she almost died. Stupid, stupid Meredith and her stupid knack for almost dieing.

This wasn't fair. Life wasn't fair.

Her heart ached she was looking forward to a baby. Her and Derek had been so in love all they needed to complete them was a baby and now some so-called god had taken that away. She hated him she hated herself she shouldn't have kissed Derek that was stupid of her if she wouldn't have distracted him he would have seen the car and would have swerved out of the way in time.

She wasn't sure how long she had been lying in her and Derek's bed. Week maybe more but she only got up to use the bathroom and Derek usually brought her food when he got off work. She still hadn't said anything to him. She hadn't said anything at all to anyone really. She knew that he didn't deserve it, it wasn't his fault that she had lost the baby.

It was hers everything that happened was her fault. She was weak and her stupid weak body couldn't handle it. She hated herself. She curled up into a ball she was so cold. And her body ached with the despair she was feeling. She had hurt before but it had never been like this. She was going to be a mother. Her happily ever after was so close she could feel it. And then it was ripped away from her.

"Mer?", Derek asked from the doorway. She poked her head out from under the blankets an looked over at him he had a tray of food and by the looks of it, it was dinner. She sat up with a lot of effort and leaned against the headboard. He sat the tray in front of her and she ate it gratefully. He left and went into the bathroom and began running water. He came back in and gently grabbed her arm and led her to the bathroom.

"I wish you would speak to me Meredith I- I don't know what I did wrong.", He said sadly while he helped her undress.

Meredith wanted to talk to him she wanted to tell him that he didn't do anything it was all her fault. But after how long she had went without talking to him it felt like it was to late.

"I miss you Mer. and I know that is hard on you but we can't keep on like this at one point it will have to stop." She looked up at him he looked so sad and so tired. But still she said nothing and with a sigh he left the bathroom.

"Cristiana! Izzie!' Derek called after them a week later. They both stopped and looked at him with sympathy, well at least Izzie did. Cristiana just looked bored.

"Derek hey how are you?" , Izzie asked her voice like her expression was laced with concern.

"Fine, but I need your help.", he said.

"What is it? Is Meredith okay. I mean she hasn't spoken to like anyone for a month and everyone's totally worried about her but no one will say anything because of you, ya know? And I don't know I've just been worried out of my mind. An-" Izzie rambled on before Derek interrupted her.

"Can we talk about this somewhere else?" He asked already everyone in the hall was watching them intently. He grabbed both of their elbows and pulled them into the nearest on call room. He sat on one bed while they sat on the one opposite to him.

"I don't know what to do. It seems like I've tried everything to make her happier or even just respond to me. But I get nothing she won't even talk to me it's been a month for crying out loud and she rarely gets out of bed. And she's just so- so sad. And I get it. We lost our baby but she shouldn't be like this."

"Derek we- is there anything we can do?"

"Yeah actually I was thinking maybe you two could come over and talk to her or something. Maybe she resents me because I was driving the car when it happened and maybe that's why she wont speak to me. I just don't know what to do anymore."

They had never seen Derek looking so helpless. No matter how bad things got he always seemed to have at least some hope.

"Of course Derek we'll do anything we can to help her."

She nudged Cristina to say something. Cristina stood up and shook her head. "I'm sorry, can't."

Izzie stood outside Meredith and Derek's door. She was nervous, she hadn't seen Meredith since the day before she left the hospital. She had tried to a few times but Meredith would never accept any calls from anyone.

She wasn't really sure how much she could help she wasn't Cristina after all if anyone could surely bring her back from this would be Cristina but she had to try. She took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Derek opened the door gave her a gratefully look and he opened the door further to allow her entrance into their house.

"Izzie I really appreciate this.", he said as he led her down the hall past several doors until they reached the master bedroom. He turned the knob and let the door swing open. There was an unmoving Meredith size lump in the bed.

"I'll be in the kitchen."

Izzie nodded and stepped into the room.

"Meredith?" She said cautiously

The lump in the bed moved a little but otherwise there was no other response. Izzie snatched the comforter back earning her a glare from Meredith. She climbed on the bed and laid down next to Meredith taking her hand in the same way Meredith had when Denny died.

"Meredith look at me."

She looked up at Izzie and green eyes locked with blue. Izzie knew it was bad that Meredith wasn't in very good shape but she had no idea it was this bad Meredith looked like she had lost at least twenty pounds. Her eyes looked sunken in. And she had a grey tinge to her skin from seeing any sun light in a month.

"Will you please talk to me?"

"How'd you get passed it?" She asked her voice was harsh from lack of use.

"I- what do you mean?" she asked, she hadn't actually expected her to speak to her.

"I mean when you were pregnant with Hannah and then she was taken from you how did you get passed that?"

"Well it was different." Izzie said.

"But she was still taken from you, this little human that you carried inside of you for months was just taken." She insisted

"I don't know if I've ever really gotten past it. But I gave her up I didn't have the right to be upset."

"I don't know if I can do this Izzie. I don't know if I can just go out there and act like this is not affecting me."

"You don't have to. No one expects that of you. But for Derek you have to try. Derek didn't just lose the baby in that car crash he lost you too. And he hides it well but I can tell Mer, he's really hurting. He thinks you blame him and that's why you wont talk to him."

She shook her head. "No, he cant think that!"

"Well unless you talk to him he's going to keep believing that."

Meredith took a deep breath and nodded, "Okay Izzie I'm ready."

Izzie took helped Meredith out of the bed but quickly grabbed her when she stumbled. She felt so weak but then maybe spend a month in bed did that to you. Izzie helped her down the hall and into the kitchen where Derek was cooking dinner. Izzie let go, this time Meredith didn't fall she made her way to Derek without stumbling once. She put her arms around him and hugged him tightly.

"I missed you Meredith.", he said breathing her in and kissing her forehead.

"I missed you too."


	7. A brighter day

It wasn't like she didn't want to be happy. Because she did she wanted to smile and joke and be able to tell her husband that she was okay and not have to lie about it. She wanted to be able to tell her best friend that she was okay and not lie. But she wasn't she wasn't okay. She was better, much better then before. A week had passed since Izzie came and got her out of that bed. She was thankful for it. Izzie saved her when she was on the edge ready to give up on life Izzie pulled her away. But she was so sick and tired of them watching her. Izzie and Derek were always watching her every move wanting to know if they could do anything.

And she got it, really she did. They didn't want her to fall into a funk again. But seriously? She needed room to breath! She wanted the mockery back, she missed the mockery.

She started back at work the day before not that she actually got to scrub in or do any surgeries everyone thought she was still unstable. That she would snap at any moment. and kill a patient because she had some crazy lady break down and decided she couldn't take it anymore.

"Hey Meredith how are you?", Izzie asked.

Meredith glared at her but mumbled that she was fine. And left Izzie at the nurses station. Before she could get to far though a nurse smiled sympathetically at her. And in that moment Meredith snapped she couldn't deal with the 'how are you's' and the looks of sympathy.

"I AM FINE!" She yelled at the women. "HEY, HEY EVERYONE." everyone turned to look at her.

"Just so we can get the out of the way I AM FINE! No you know what I'm not fine. WHY IN THE HELL WOULD I BE FINE? I lost my baby okay I'm not fine so if someone ask me one more time I swear to god I will snap your neck with my bare hands OKAY?"

She looked around the hall as every one nodded and she slung open the door to the nearest on call room and locked the door. She ran her hands through her hair and kicked the bed hard. She immediately regretted it because now there was a horrible throbbing in her toe. She heard the door open and close. She didn't even have to turn around to see that it was Derek. After a month in bed she had pretty much memorized his footsteps.

"I want to be happy Derek, I do. I just don't know how anymore."

Derek sighed and began to gently massage the knots out of her shoulders it was a while before he spoke.

"I don't expect you to be happy right away. I know that it will take you a while. I get that."

She leaned back into him and rested her head on his shoulder. "But you deserve better, you should be with someone who isn't as dark and twisty as me."

"If anything you deserve better Meredith. I love you and I'm willing to do what ever it takes to help you through this."

Meredith smiled. "Is it wrong that I really want you right now? 'cus your doing that dreamy thing and it's sort of turning me on."

Derek smirked. "No I don't think it would." He said turning her around so that she was now straddling his lap. She giggled lightly and Derek closed his eyes relishing the sound he hadn't heard it in so long it sounded even more beautiful then he remembered. So much more beautiful.

He kissed nipped and sucked his way up her neck to her lips and back down to her collar bone. While his lips worked with her neck his hands where working their magic on her torso moving her scrub shirt up over her head and tossed it to the ground. Soon the rest of there close fallowed until they stood before each other only in their underwear. Meredith blushed as his eyes raked over her body taking in every part of it. She blushed even harder when they reached her stomach. She had stretch marks from the pregnancy and she was very self-conscious about it.

"Don't be embarrassed Mer your beautiful." he whispered his hands lightly tracing the scars. "Every single part of you."

She smiled and grabbed his face to kiss him.

"God I love you Derek." She gasped as he lowered her onto the bed.

"Hmm." He hummed against her neck. "I love you more."

M-D-M-D

"Oo Mer got laid." Izzie laughed.

Meredith nervously tried to flatten out her hair figuring that that was what gave her away. "W-what are you talking about I did not."

"Nothing to be ashamed of! And you hair so didn't give you away… you look happy." She sighed

"Getting there." She smiled back. Neither of them mentioned her mini breakdown in the middle of the hall, as they examined the patient.

"Looks like a concussion we should get and MRI and a consult from Nuero.", Meredith said.

Izzie nodded.

"So Cristiana?", Meredith asked.

"I've talked to her but you know Cristiana. Honestly I think this is just bringing up painful memories for her."

"I know." Meredith sighed. "You know what I really need?"

"What's that?"

"A kick ass surgery."

"One kick ass surgery coming up." Came Derek's voice from the door way causing them to both jump in surprise .

"Hey no fare!" Izzie wined.

"Would you also like to scrub in Dr. Stevens?"

"Yes very much so.", Izzie smiled.

"Okay go prep Mr. Andrews I'll meet you in the OR."

Meredith nodded and kissed him on the cheek. Before heading off toward Mr. Andrews room. Today was definitely looking a little bit brighter.

* * *

A/N: Please review and tell me what you think I'm not very big on this chapter.


	8. Addison

Meredith paced back in forth in their large living room. She grabbed a hair tie from the table and put her hair up in a messy pony tail, figuring that if it wasn't tied up she would probably pull it all out and that would definitely not be good at all. She knew this was good news but she couldn't bring herself to be happy. All she was, was scared but not in the same way as she was the first time. The first time she was scared in a good way. Now it was bad all she could think about was what if it was a repeat of last time.

She stared at her cell phone for a long moment before she finally decided that what she was going to do was worth how angry Derek would be. She scrolled down the names in her contact list until she found the person she was looking for and hit send. She answered the phone immediately.

"Dr. Montgomery." She greeted on the other end Meredith took a deep breath to calm her self.

"Addison… It's Meredith."

Immediately her voice seemed a little… happier to Meredith. "Meredith it's so nice to hear from you! I heard about the baby and I've been meaning to call but you know work has been insane. How are you doing?"

Meredith bit her lip she still hated when people asked that it drove her crazy for some reason.

" I'm fine I just need your help with something."

"Oh sure of course but I'm not sure how I can help you all the way out here in California."

Meredith didn't reply she just waited for Addison to draw her own conclusions. It only took about a half a second.

"Your pregnant aren't you?" She asked quietly.

"Yes." Meredith replied shortly.

"And you want me to fly up there to be your OBGYN?"

Meredith nodded and then realized how stupid that was seeing that she was on the phone.

"I would pay for everything and even meet your salary for the time that you're here or I could talk to chief and he could give you a temporary position yeah I think that would be best if you worked at the hospital for the nine months that I'm pregnant and I know that what I'm asking is a lot seeing as you're my husbands ex-wife and all but I-"

"Meredith your rambling." She laughed lightly.

"I know I'm sorry… Just please you're the best in your field and I want to make sure _nothing_ happens to this baby."

"I don't know…" she trailed off.

Meredith sighed she knew it wasn't very probable that Addison would drop her entire life for the women who stole her husband even if she had said more the once that they were friends.

"Please." She begged her voice broke like she was about to cry which she probably was.

"Addison I'm so scared that I wont be able to keep this baby I _need _you."

"Alright fine I'll do it."

"Oh my god thank you so much Addie!" She exclaimed. "So your ticket will be waiting for you at the gate you'll be leaving a week from today and you can stay in our guest house."

Addison laughed.

"Good to know you were so confident that you could get me to come."

"Not confident." She said back. "Just very hopeful. Thank you for doing this Addison."

"No problem."

**M-D-M-D. **

Once again Meredith was pacing in their living room this time waiting for Derek to come home. She took a deep breath and counted to ten. It was okay really she was excited about this. She was excited that she had another chance to have a child.

The door slammed and she took another deep breath. "Mer hun I'm home."

"In the living room." She called back the nervousness that she was feel could be heard in her voice. He appeared in the doorway and gave her the dreamy smile she felt her knees go weak and all her nerves go away she smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

"Mer you're all pale are you okay/"

"Perfect/" She did her best to give him a convincing smile.

"Come on I know you better then you know yourself. And I know something is wrong with you."

Meredith groaned he knew her a little to well. "I called Addison and she's coming out here."

"Why?"

"Umm…She'sheretobemyOBGYNbecauseI'mpregnant." She mumbled very quickly

"Honey you need to slow down I can't understand you."

She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. "I. am. Pregnant."

"again." she added as and afterthought.

"And Addison is coming…?"

"because I'm taking no chances on this baby."

Derek smiled a big smile at her that made Meredith's heart melt. And muttered something that sounded like amazing and he kissed her fiercely.

"Your not scared?' Meredith asked biting her lip.

Derek nodded. " Terrified. But I know everything will be okay this time it has to be."

"I hope your right." She muttered under her breath.

**M-D-M-D**

Meredith sat down at the table Christina was sitting out for lunch she smile at her friend and took a bite out of her salad all the while staring at her.

"What?" Cristina snapped.

"I have something to tell you something only Derek knows. Something I'm going to tell you before I tell anyone else I know." Meredith smirked.

"Yeah well what is it?" She asked impatiently.

"Hm." Meredith laughed "I'm pregnant."

"Seriously? Again?" Cristina stared at her in disbelief. "What the hell are you like the most fertile women ever?"

"I suppose." Meredith laughed.

"And your happy?"

Meredith hesitated but eventually smiled. "Yeah." She said. "Yeah I think I am."

"As long as your happy." She grumbled.

A/N: So…? Surprised or not? Lol. I'm surprised I actually got this chapter written due to the fact that I've been reading the best story ever… _Breaking Dawn_ If you haven't read it you need to! Also if you're a writer you might be interested in checking out the web site at the bottom of this author note I'm doing a writing work shop to help people grow plus it's a great place to talk about Grey's anatomy.

Also I know the reaction is pretty much the same as in chapter one to Meredith being pregnant but I would like to think on the show that Meredith would be scared out of her mind but also happy about it and Derek would just be happy.

seattle-grace.proboards103

Just put .com behind it because it wont show up right if I put .com for some reason. ;p

Mk rambling is over...


	9. Surprise!

Derek rolled over in the bed and wrapped his strong arms around his wife. He placed kisses on her neck. She opened her eyes with every intention to kiss him back but instead she jumped up out of his arms and sprinted off to the bathroom. Where she emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet. She felt Derek hold her hair back and she smiled gratefully at him. When she was positive she had nothing left to throw up she brushed her teeth,

"Thanks Der." She said weakly.

"No problem." he mumbled pulling her to him to kiss her.

"Derek no way we have to go pick Addison up at the airport in an hour."

A low husky growl came from Derek's throat in reply and Meredith laughed. "How can you find me attractive after _that." _she said pointing to the toilet.

"I find you attractive no matter what Mer." He mumbled as he began to slowly untie her pajama pants.

"Derek." She warned.

Derek looked at her innocently. "I'm only getting you undressed for a shower babe. What's with the dirty mind?"

Meredith laughed. "It could be because your hands are currently running all over my body."

He quickly silenced her by crashing his lips into hers and slowly leading her into the shower.

M-D-M-D

"Damn it Derek." Meredith groaned as she looked at the clock the were supposed to be at the airport ten minuets ago and they wouldn't be there for another twenty.

"What did I do?" He asked feigning innocence.

"We are going to be late because you couldn't keep your hands to yourself."

He glanced over at her and smirked. "Didn't hear you complaining. In fact if I remember correctly there was a lot of moaning and 'oh god Derek don't stop.'"

Meredith blushed and stuck her tongue out at him. They rode the rest of the way to the airport in silence. When they got there Addison was waiting out side. Meredith smiled apologetically at her and stepped out of the car.

"Sorry we're late Derek took forever to get ready. You know how long it takes him to do his hair." She smirked when she looked at him and saw he was frowning as he loaded Addison's luggage in the car.

Addison laughed and hugged Meredith tightly. "It's really good to see you Meredith.''

"You to Addie. I really appreciate you doing this for us."

Addison rolled her eyes and waved a hand dismissively. "You've told me thank you a million times in the past week."

"I know but I'm very grateful that you dropped everything to come here."

"Yeah yeah. Lets go I'm exhausted."

M-D-M-D.

"So was it as bad as Callie said?" Addison asked days later as they sat in an examination room waiting for Meredith to arrive.

"Worse, I've see her give up on everything but not like that it was like horrible and the entire time there was nothing I could do to snap her out of it."

"So what got her back to be herself."

Derek sighed. "Well she's still not quiet like she used to be but she's better… It was Izzie though, I have no idea what Izzie said to her to get her to get out of bed and start to move on but I'm grateful to her. Who knows what would have happened if she hadn't come?"

Before Addison could reply Meredith rushed through the door. "Oh god Addie I'm so sorry I got stuck in a surgery." She gave Derek a peck on the cheek and climbed up on the examination table. Where Addison spread the cold gel on Meredith's stomach and began the ultrasound. Immediately the sound of their baby's heart filled the room. Although it sounded weird kind of echoie.

"Oh my" Addison said under her breath.

"What? What's wrong is the baby okay?" Derek asked he was starting to panic. Meredith wanted to cry.

"No, no everything is fine!" She reassured quickly. "More then fine. Do you hear that echo sound?" She asked.

Meredith and Derek nodded.

"Well that's two heart beats. Your having twins."

Meredith eyes widened the size of dinner plates.

"Oh my god twins as in two baby's at once?"

"Well yeah that's what twins generally mean." Addison said.

Derek still hadn't said a word as if he had been shocked into silence.

"Derek say something." Meredith ordered

"Wow." he whispered with a smile. "Wow wow wow."

"So your about six weeks along.", said Addison interrupted as she handed Meredith a couple tissues to wipe the gel off her body. "And I'm going to write you a prescription for some prenatal vitamins."

Meredith smiled she was still in shock. "Thanks Addie. I'll see you tonight?"

Addison nodded. "Look I know this isn't really in a surgeons vocabulary but how about taking things easy until the babies are born?"

Meredith nodded. "I've got to hurry up and start my rounds or bailey will kill me. Thanks again."

Meredith dropped her tray on the table in-between Christina and Izzie with a huff.

"How'd your appointment go?" George asked.

"Twins!", she exclaimed.

"What the hell? Two little life sucking creatures?" Cristina asked earning her a glare from Izzie.

"Wow Mer I think that's great!" Izzie exclaimed at the same time.

"Yeah!" Lexie cheered. "I'm going to be a double aunt!"

Everyone looked at her like she was crazy. "I don't think there's such a thing Lex. And don't you already have a niece?" Meredith asked.

"No Mer _we_ have a niece."

Meredith rolled her eyes and stabbed at her salad. "This is insane! Twins is insane!"

"Tell me about it. Your going to have two little parasites living off of you for the next eighteen years." Cristina scoffed .

"Well I'm happy for you!" Izzie said in her usual cheery manner.

"Thanks Iz."

"Me too." George put in earning him a kiss from Izzie.

"Yeah I guess that's cool." Alex said nonchalantly.

"ugh you guys are making me sick." said Cristiana as she got up and threw the remainder of her lunch in the trash bin.

"I've got to go to guys. I've got a really cool brain surgery with my really hot hubby." Meredith smiled at the jealous looking fellow interns. And rushed off to the OR.

A/N: Please review and tell me what you think I will give you a virtual cookie!!


	10. Meredith freaks out

She was so tired if felt like every bone in her body ached. At six months, things were twice as worst. She was twice as tired as she was in the first pregnancy, her feet twice a sore and she was twice as big. She looked like and felt like a wale. She was way more emotional as well, she would cry at the drop of a pen and she would flip out on her interns who she was positive were complete idiots. They didn't know half the things that she knew when she was in high school. Okay so that wasn't true they where a smart group of doctors but regardless they weren't very smart to her at the moment. For example, they woke her up for no good reason! You don't just wake up a exhausted, hormonal pregnant women.

She slid into the residents locker room and splashed some cold water on her face. It was in vain however because nothing was going to wake her up and she had a surgery in a hour and there was no way she was going to be able to get through it. She would have killed for a coffee but Derek flipped out when she so much as looked at one. And it wasn't like she could have one around the rest of the residents because they were the biggest traitors ever. They tell on her for about everything she does including over working.

"No one would fault you Meredith if you took a nap or something." Izzie said from her position on the floor. Meredith jumped a foot in the air she hadn't seen Izzie when she walked in.

"Huh?" She asked.

"Sleep you need some."

"Can't I have a surgery."

Izzie sighed and patted the seat next to her and Meredith slid carefully down the wall and laid her head down on Izzie's shoulder.

"You need to slow down. I know your afraid after what with the first baby but working so much you don't think of how terrified you are isn't good for you or the babies you know that."

Meredith stared at her for a moment. "Logan." She muttered.

"I'm sorry what?"

"The first baby, everyone calls him the first baby he has a name and it was, is Logan. They all call him the first baby like he doesn't have a name. He does though. He has a name." She said it very calmly

"Oh I'm so sorry Meredith."

"I can't have two babies Izzie! I can't even have one! I feel like we're trying to replace Logan! I'm going to be a horrible mother! I-I'm emotionally detached and afraid of commitment and according to Cristina I have severe abandonment issues. I don't want my babies to be like me I don't want this to be hard for them I want them to know that life isn't as hard as this they have to know that Izzie. They have to have a better childhood then I did. And I can't give them that."

Izzie sighed. "Meredith, just the fact that your afraid you're going to screw these kids up proves that your going to be a great mother. You've evolved a lot since I met you Meredith and despite what you think you're not cold and detached. You are going to make a great mother I know that because you're a great person. You're a great person and I believe in you. And it's about time you started believing in yourself!"

" How am I supposed to believe in my ability to be a good mother when I had no one to really show me how? I'm a surgeon Izzie, just like her. Everyone says I'm like her, that they see greatness in me just like my mom and until now I had been proud of that because despite the fact that my mom wasn't always there I was proud, proud to be the daughter of the famous Ellis grey. But now I'm just scared what if I treat these babies like my mom treated me?"

"Meredith I believe in you. Derek believes in you. So does Bailey and Cristiana and George. We are all behind you in this and if you need us we will always be here for you. You understand that right? You know that we are all a family and in a family we support each other."

Meredith smiled weakly. "What would I do without you Iz?"

Izzie laughed. "Probably have mental breakdowns all by yourself."

Meredith stuck her tongue out Izzie but before she could reply her pager went off and she sighed. "Derek." She mumbled sleepily.

"I'll take your surgery today you need some sleep."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "Such a sacrifice Isabel."

"I know right. I was so looking forward to a day in the clinic!"

"Alright I'll go tell Derek he doesn't get the immense pleasure of looking at his very pregnant wale of a wife."

Izzie helped Meredith up and fallowed her through the door. "I don't think you look like a wale."

"Who looks like a wale?" George asked as he joined them.

"I do." Meredith said.

George looked at her like she was insane.

"No she thinks she does and she thinks that Derek thinks she does but she doesn't!"

"I know for a fact that Derek doesn't think that." George said.

"And how so." She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Because, the way I see it is your carrying his child and if someone was carrying my child that would be insanely sexy to me. So he doesn't think you're a wale."

Izzie hit George in the shoulder hard. "You just called Meredith sexy!"

"Did not!"

"Did to!"

"Did not!"

Meredith shook her head and laughed they could be such kids sometimes.

--

"Meredith would you like to know the sex of the babies?"

Meredith looked at Derek and ten back at Addison she really wanted to know, she wanted everything to be perfect for when the baby came. She wanted the nursery to not be painted a neutral or for their closes to all be yellow. She looked backr at Derek again and he nodded.

"Yes we want to know the sex." She smiled.

Addison smiled back. "You're having two baby girls."

Meredith grinned from ear to ear she looked over at Derek and his smile mirrored her own. They were going to have two beautiful little baby girls. And despite how terrified she was she had her family and she knew this kid would be okay. Besides her mother had screwed her up and she wasn't all that bad now was she?

A/N; Review for a faster update! Por favor!


	11. What's the big deal it's only labor

The thing about being in labor was that it didn't even really hurt until a contraction hit. Or until you actually began delivering the baby. So if your contractions were say… ten minuets apart and your water had yet to break it was no big deal right? It could be hours before you actually even came close to having the baby.

That's why Meredith Grey-Sheppard was sitting a the lunch table eating George's candy bar (really who eats chocolate in front of a pregnant women?) instead of sitting in a hospital bed waiting for her water to break. She was technically in a hospital so she would be completely fine. She hadn't even told anyone that she was in labor yet really she didn't see the need in it. Although she was sure that Derek would flip out if he knew that she was in labor and hadn't told anyone.

"What are you doing here anyways Meredith?" George asked.

"What I can't have a nice lunch with my friends? Pregnant women need love too George O'Malley!"

George laughed and shook his head. "No usually when you have lunch with us you bring your own food cus you don't want the hospital food. But today you came three hours before lunch and with no food."

Meredith studied him for a moment but figured he was trustworthy enough. "I'm in labor." She shrugged.

George's eyes got very big and his mouth dropped open. "Seriously??"

Meredith nodded and took another bite of his chocolate bar.

"Meredith Elizabeth grey what the hell is wrong with you.?!"

Meredith scolded at him.

"How far apart are your contractions?" He asked going into doctor mode.

"Ten minutes."

"Has your water broke?"

"George have you forgotten that I'm a doctor as well??"

"No but maybe you have because your in labor and you are just tell someone now. When did the contractions start?"

Meredith looked away thinking. "Eight in the morning."

"Eight in the morning?!" He yelled franticly getting the attention of many bystanders. "What where you thinking?"

Meredith rolled her eyes "I was thinking about how I didn't want to lay in a hospital bed all day for no reason!" She hissed quietly.

"Oh yeah because who cares that you're about to have two babies in a matter of hours."

Meredith was about to reply but another shockwave of pain coursing through her body along with a wet sensation between her legs she looked down to see a wet stain making it's way down her pants at some point she had taken George's hand and was currently squeezing it so tightly that tears were coming to his eyes.

She took a deep breath and released his hand. " Go get Derek."

"Um.. He's in surgery I think. But I'll go find him."

* * *

"Dr. Sheppard?" George said from the doorway of the OR. Derek looked up briefly.

"Yes O'Malley?"

'Um Meredith, she's um…."

"Spit it out O'Malley I have probes in this mans brain."

"Meredith is in labor."

"She's what?"

"Um she's been in labor since eight this morning."

"And I'm just hearing it now?"

"She didn't want anyone to know."

Derek sighed, "What the hell is with that women?" He asked the intern beside him. The guy just shrugged. "Tell her I'll be with her as soon as I can."

* * *

" Breathe Meredith breathe." Izzie instructed. Meredith glared at her as she was overcome by another contraction. They where getting closer together very quickly.

"I know what to do Izzie!"

George opened the door to her hospital room he peaked his head in. "Meredith Derek cant come right at this moment. He's in surgery."

If he thought he had seen her murderous before it was nothing compared to what she looked like now the look she gave him was one that could kill.

"You tell him that his wife is giving birth to his children and if he doesn't get his pretty boy ass down her NOW I wont be responsible for my actions! Tell him that exactly."

George sighed and disappeared into the hall. He so didn't want to be doing this today.

* * *

"Dr. Sheppard." George said with a sigh.

"yes O'Malley?" He sounded annoyed.

"I've been told and I quote 'Your wife is giving birth to your children so get your pretty boy ass up there right now.'"

Derek looked up and then over at one of the other surgeons in the room. "I'm finished here do you think you could close this guy up?"

The surgeon nodded and Derek went to scrubbed out quickly fallowed George down the hall.

* * *

"Okay Meredith one more push, one more really good push and it will all be over." Addison said.

Meredith shook her head tears spilling out of her eyes. "I can't- I can't do it." She sobbed.

"Come on honey just push you can do it."

Meredith made eye contact with him and nodded. She pushed as hard as she could.

A loud cry filled the room, fallowed by Addison saying. "Good job Meredith."

Derek pushed the hair that was sticking to her forehead and kissed her softly. "What's going on? How does she look?"

Derek smiled and looked at his daughter. "Ten fingers ten toes." he answered brightly as he watched the nurse clean up his second born daughter.

They handed him the first born and he smiled kissing the tip of her nose. "Hello little one. I'm your daddy."

One of the nurses gave the other baby to Meredith, she ran her fingers in the tiny tuft of blond hair. The tiny baby in her arms opened her eyes and blue met green for the first time. That's when it really hit Meredith what was going on, she was a mother, not only that but she was a mother to Derek's baby. Tears fell rapidly down her cheeks. She looked up at Derek who was staring at her other daughter.

"Their beautiful Derek." She whispered.

* * *

"Hayden Marie Sheppard." Lexie read from the Name sheet from where she stood out side the baby nursery.

"Emma Grace Sheppard," George said never taking his eyes of the baby.

Lexie laughed and looked over at George. "Ever think that we would be standing here watching Meredith's babies."

George laughed he had to admit of all the people that he say having a baby Meredith wasn't really one he hadn't even gotten completely over the fact that she was pregnant when she went into labor.

"Have you every seen anything more beautiful then the their babies?'

Lexie shook her head, "Lifes not fair beautiful people shouldn't be allowed to have beautiful children."

"Your beautiful." George stated looking into her light brown eyes.

Lexie blushed and looked back at the babies.

"Gracie is Cristina and my Goddaughter."

"Oh." Lexie said.

George nodded. "Mark and Izzie are Hayden's."

Lexie nodded trying not to feel hurt. She shouldn't she was the babies aunt and Cristina an Izzie where Meredith's best friends it was only logical that she would choose them to be the godparents of the twins But still she was Meredith's sister and yes I had started rocky at first, very rock, but they where really close now and well she was just hurt.

"I love you." George said suddenly knocking Lexie out of her daze.

"Um pardon?"

"I said I love you."

Lexie stared at him for a moment. Unsure of what to say, really she just thought she was dreaming it was all so random.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously." He said with a nod. He watched as Lexie's eyes got all watery. He caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers and pulled her into a kiss. She moaned into the kiss and pushed herself further into him.

"Watcha doing guys?" Meredith asked sounding amused.

George ignored the question. " What are you doing out of bed? Shouldn't you be sleeping? You definitely shouldn't be walking around the halls right now you just gave birth to twins."

"Hmm really I don't recall pushing two babies out of my vagina today." she said sarcastically.

"Why are you up walking around?"

Meredith sighed, "I was bored!" she giggled. "Derek's lame ass is in emergency surgery. And all of you guys are working or whatever."

"Are you high?" Lexie asked.

" As a kite these pain killers are good stuff sis you should try some!"

Lexie laughed. "I think I'm good."

"You want to see the babies?" Meredith asked

Lexie and George both nodded. Meredith grinned lazily at them and stepped into the nursery before George could fallow her, Lexie grabbed his arm. He looked back at her.

"I love you too."

* * *

A/N: Uh-oh George addmittes his feelings. Random I know but I couldnt help myself.

Okay so Quick history on the names. Emma Grace aka Gracie is the name of my future child. (I'm not pregnant.) And Hayden Marie is the name of my best friend's little girl. Who turns one in like ten days. She's a cutie.

Anyways.

So what do you think? I had a lot of trouble writing about the twins and I know there wasn't much about them but there will be more to come. Along with a sequel when this one is finished. I've already got the whole thing planned out. Yay! But this still has a couple chapters (I think) D

Please please please review it really does help with the writing process it pushes me to write a chapter faster if I have lots and lots of reviews


	12. Some sleep would be nice

"Derek! Hurry get down here!" Meredith shouted smiling down at the tiny baby in her arms. Derek came running down the stairs two at a time terrified that something had happened to his wife or daughters. But her only found Meredith looking down at Hayden with the biggest smile on her face. Derek wrapped his arms around her waist so that his front was pressed to her back and rested his chin on her shoulder.

"You scared me." Derek whispered in her ear.

"I'm sorry. I was just so… excited. Derek she just smiled at me!" Meredith exclaimed her voice tightening with emotion.

"A real smile?" Derek asked keeping his eyes on his daughter. Waiting to see her smile again. "Come on baby girl give daddy a big smile."

Meredith tickled her under her chin earning a smile from the infant in her arms.

"That's my beautiful baby girl." Derek said taking Hayden from Meredith. Just then Emily woke up from her nap.

"That's her hungry cry do you mind making her a bottle?"

"Hungry cry?" Derek questioned with a smirk.

"Yeah, Hungry cry is a little more calm. Hold me cry is very whiney and her change me cry is in the middle." Derek laughed and kissed her on the lips softly.

"Your such a good mother." He called after her as she disappeared down the hall. Meredith shook her head seriously doubting what he was saying.

"Do you think I'm a good mommy Emily Grace?"

In an answer Gracie smiled.

---------------------------

"Hello." Meredith said holding the phone in-between her ear and shoulder while she simultaneously fed Hayden her bottle.

"Hi, May I speak with Derek please?" Asked a woman from the other end of the phone.

"He's not in right now. Can I take a message."

"Ah sluttly intern." The women laughed.

"Nance haven't seen you since the wedding how are you?" she asked in a false cheery voice. Hayden let out a whimper letting Meredith know that the bottle was empty. She gently repositioned her so that she could easily burp her.

"Just fine. I'll be quick I know you must have your hands full with the twins." She sounded genuine enough that Meredith's voice lightened a little.

"Yeah these two are a handful." She laughed.

"Their actual what I was calling about. Mom, Kathleen and I would love to fly down for a week or two to meet the newest additions to the Sheppard family."

"Yeah, of course. When do you plan on coming down?"

Then three things happened at once Emma let out a ear drum busting squeal, the door bell rang and Kathleen came over the phone.

"Okay mer," She said slowly. "Don't freak out. We've called _many _times but got no answer sowe didn't think you would mind."

"What would I freak out about?" She asked walking quickly over to the door so she could open it and hurry back to her screaming daughter. All the while hoping that she wouldn't wake up the other sleeping baby in her arms. She opened the door and found her self face to face with the very person she was talking to on the phone.

"What are you guys doing here?" She asked moving aside so that they could come in. Nancy took Hayden from her arms while Derek's mother went into the living room where Gracie was screaming her head off.

"We wanted to visit you." Kathleen explained pulling Meredith into a tight hug. Kathleen along with Sarah was by far Meredith's favorite Sheppard sisters.

"I've missed you." Meredith whispered in her ear. Tears welled up in her eyes and she looked away stupid post pregnant hormones.

"Mere what's wrong?"

"I'm sorry." She said drying her eyes. "I'm just really tired and this is really a nice surprise."

Kathleen laughed. "Don't lie to us girl we know your freaking out."

"A little." she laughed. "But mostly I'm exhausted. Derek had to go in for and emergency surgery and hasn't been home since." She looked at her watch. "Well about this time yesterday and the twins are taking turns sleeping."

"Go take a shower, get some sleep. We've got the girls." Derek's mother said with a loving tone looking down at Gracie.

"Are you sure because they can be a lot to deal with and I wouldn't want to just dump them on you."

"Meredith are you forgetting I raised five children" She asked.

Meredith sighed and looked at her babies sadly. "No Kathy I haven't."

"Then go and when you wake up we'll take you out for a nice dinner. Okay?:

"Alright." She said turning to trudge her tired body up the stairs to her and Derek's bedroom.

"Before you go do you mind introducing us your them?"

"Oh right sorry." she said blushing a little at her forgetfulness. "Kathy your holding Emily Grace. And Nancy your holding Hayden Marie."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meredith climbed into the shower choosing to use Derek's shampoo so that she would sleep better since she ushaly got a full night's sleep when he was in the bed with her. When he wasn't she would stay up for hours tossing and turning and wake up very cranky. She climbed into bed and buried herself on Derek's side of the bed. She immediately fell into a very restful sleep.

When she woke up it was five hours later and the sun had gone down. She slowly and hesitantly crawled out of bed. Kathleen, Kathy and Nancy where all in the living room laughing. Kathleen and Nancy where feeding the babies.

"Meredith, did you sleep well?" Kathy asked in a motherly tone.

"Amazingly." She smiled back looking at her baby and biting her lip. She wanted to take one of them from her but she didn't want to take them away from their aunts.

Nancy must have read her mind because she stood up and passed her Emily. Meredith placed a soft kiss on the calm baby's forehead and looked over at her in-laws.

"Thank you guys so much I really needed that." She smiled gratefully,

"It's was really no trouble at all Meredith. Their angels."

Meredith smiled softly they really where. Sometimes she would look at them and it would hit her all over again that she was a mother, that she had created two beautiful creatures with Derek. It was like a tidal wave of happiness that after all that they had been through to get to that point they had had their happy ending.

"Mere babe I'm home." Derek called from the door way.

"In the living room" she called back.

"How are my three favorite girls?" He asked as he stepped into the living room. His smile faded when he saw his mom and sisters sitting on the couch and Meredith standing across from it.

"Mom? What are you guys doing here." he asked carefully looking over at Meredith to see if she was freaking out at all but she looked calm and happy.

"Well, you see I heard that recently two little girls were added to the Sheppard family and since neither of you can return a call or invite us for a visit we decided to just drop in."

"Mom," he said taking Hayden from her and cradling her in his strong arms. "we don't live just down the street you can't just drop in." he said sternly but the smile on his face said that he was more then happy to have his family come to visit. Since he hadn't seen them since the car wreck a little more then a year ago.

"If the two of you would call or maybe answer your phone you would know we've had this trip planned for three weeks"

Derek decided it was time for a change in subject. "So where are Sarah and Megan?"

"Sarah is coming down tomorrow and Megan is swamped with classes so she's not coming at all… Are we not good enough for you little brother?"

"Of course you are, I'm really glad you guys are here."


	13. The Fairmont

A/N; You guys are my heros... Thanks for the reviews... =]

* * *

"You guys need a night out." Sarah said as she cooed at Hayden while she changed her diaper.

Meredith smiled weakly at her sister-in-law, "I don't think I'm ready to leave the girls just yet."

How long has it been since the two of you had some mommy and daddy time?"

Meredith thought for a moment it had been before Hayden and Gracie where born. She really, really wanted a night out with Derek but not if she was going to have to leave the girls behind. She was paranoid thinking that if she left them with someone something would happen to them. She had seen to many children in the ER from nights when their parents went out for dinner together. Or did anyhing that involved leaving their children with a babysitter.

Almost as if she was reading Meredith's mind she said, "It's not like your going to be laving them with some random teenager, we'll be with them. Your family will be with them Meredith, you know you can trust us."

She sighed and kissed Emily on the forehead.

"Besides it would be rude not to go out tonight, since we booked you a room at the Fairmont for tonight."

"No! You didn't!", Meredith exclaimed the Fairmont was a very expensive hotel.

"Yes we did, dinner, dancing and a breakfast all paid for. Plus we thought you guys needed a night alone to you know..." She said raising her eyebrows.

"You do realize your talking about your brother right?"

Sarah scrunched her nose up in disgust, "Forgot for a minuet."

"When are we leaving."

Sarah smiled pleased that Meredith gave in. "Seven, and your not going to bring your cell phone for the night is mine, don't want you calling every twenty minuets to check up on them."

"_No _Sarah what if something happens and you can't get a hold of us?"

"Nothing will happen just go out and enjoy yourselves you've earned it."

Meredith took a deep breath. "Fine."

MDMD

"I can't believe they did this." Meredith mumbled, as they walked into the Fairmont's lobby. While she had been with Derek she had been to many five star hotels but they never ceased to amaze her the Fairmont was no different it was so beautiful.

"it was very nice of them." Derek pointed out taking Meredith's hand in his own. He led them to a very large hallway that led to the restaurant. He gave the women their last name, she showed them to a table looking out into the garden. Their was a full moon and the stars shown so brightly in the sky, something she only got to enjoy while at home away from the city lights.

Meredith squirmed in her seat, refusing to meet Derek's eyes. She wanted so badly to call and see how the girls where doing just check in on them but just as badly she didn't want to ruin their perfect evening.

"I'm sure their fine. My mom and sisters have raised eighteen kids between them."

Meredith looked at him and smiled but it didn't quiet reach her eyes. Derek took her hand and kissed her palm.

"It's okay to worry, you don't have to feel guilty about it. I'm a little worried about leaving the twins for the first time."

Meredith touched his face softly cupping his cheek with the hand he had kissed, she smiled. "No more twin talk tonight is about mommy and daddy."

MDMD

They where molded together like two people instead of one. Derek moved them gracefully across the dance floor making the others who where merely rocking back and forth look like fools. She remembered when they took dance lessons so that when they shared there first dance together as a married couple they wouldn't look like the people around them. As much as she griped about it she was happy that she did as Derek's mother asked .

The song changed to something that would be heard in a club, the tempo was fast and with a smirk Meredith took over the dancing. She turned her back to him and slowly, torturously began to dance against him. Derek's heart rate picked up his hands found there way to her hips griping them tightly and willing himself not to loose control, it had been months since they last had sex and he was a little more then ready to get her upstairs and into their hotel room.

As if they where on the same brain wave Meredith pulled his head down so that her lips where at his ear.

"Lets go upstairs." she whispered her voice was low and husky filled with need. Derek's pants where becoming increasingly tighter.

They could hardly make it to the elevator fast enough, once in they found to there immense luck that they had no company Derek had Meredith pinned to one of the elevator walls and was attacking her neck with hard open mouth kisses that Meredith knew good and well where going to leave a mark but she couldn't bring herself to care enough to stop him. His hands where everywhere and yet nowhere all at the same time. They touched every piece of skin Meredith's tight dress would allow. Some where in the back of her brain she knew that the dress what going to end up being ripped somehow or another. The elevator dinged signaling the arrived at there floor. He grabbed Meredith's bottom and lifted her so that she could wrap her legs around his waist.

He felt like a teenager as they giggled and kissed there way toward their room running into anything and everything in their haste to be alone. Derek fumbled with the key card for a moment before the door finally opened. He gently laid Meredith on the bed in front of him admiring her beauty. From her kissed bruised lips to her now wild hair he could imagine ever seeing anyone more beautiful then her right then.

They where working slowly now. Taking their time kissing every inch of skin it was the best kind of torture and he wanted to draw it out for her so that when he finally allowed her to let go it would be so much better.

"Derek... Please." she gasped.

Derek brought her lips to his and finally gave her what she wanted.

MDMD

A/N: okay so that's as close to a m rated scene I'm going to get to. I tried to go further but... ha ha catholic family so I was raised to shy away from any sex topic... I'm trying my best to break away from that though. Maybe one day. Lol. Anyways I hope you enjoyed it! Sorry it's so short.

Happy late Thanksgiving.


	14. Happy Birthday Gracie and Hayden!

The eve of the twins first birthday was a sleepless night for Meredith. She could hardly believe that her little girls where already a year old. While they were identical down to the little freckle that rested on there nose, it was very clear that they where two completely different people. Hayden was shy and quiet while Gracie took every opportunity to jump in the spot light as possible. Gracie was the first to say mama but it was later that day that Hayden fallowed and the same for walking except that Hayden took her first step and then Gracie did not even five minuets later.

There was no denying that these two girls where going to be extremely smart not to mention a handful. Meredith stretched careful not to wake the sleeping man beside her before she got up, took Derek's shirt that she had nearly ripped off of him last night put it on and made her way to the twins bed room. Gracie as usual was awake and waiting for her mother with a toothless smile. Hayden not wanting to be forgotten made a loud gurgling sound . Meredith laughed softly and picked Gracie up.

"I'll get you in a minuet baby girl mamma's going to take care of sissy first."

Meredith quickly changed Gracie's and Hayden's diaper, got them dressed for their first birthday party and headed down to the kitchen to start making breakfast only to find that the hallway leading to the kitchen smelled like pancakes and syrup. Which was odd because Derek was sleep and there was no way he could have gotten up in the time that Meredith had spent in the twins room and already made pancakes.

When she got into the kitchen she saw a familiar blond ponytail facing away from her.

"Hey Iz What are you doing here?"

Izzie smiled brightly and held an finger to her lips pointing over at the sleeping infant in her carrier.

"I figured that the girls would like a halfway decent breakfast the morning of their first birthday and since Derek worked late last night I knew he wouldn't be up to cook them that delicious breakfast."

"Thanks Iz."

"No problem." She smiled at her friend and then kissed her nieces on their cheek. "Good morning my one year old beauties." Gracie giggled and hit Izzie in the face with a slobber covered hand.

"So Iz, I have to tell you something but you have to swear that you won't freak out or overreact or you know what how about you not react in anyway okay? Today is the girls day and I don't want anyone paying me any attention."

"Okay I swear I wont just spit it out already."

"So I may be pregnant."

"Define May be."

"I took five test. All positive."

"Why didn't you tell me you and Derek were trying?", she was doing a pretty good job at not acting excited although Meredith could see that it was killing her.

"We weren't that's why I'm so freaked. I mean I love my girls to death but between them and work I'm burnt out, I can't take care of another baby."

"Of course you can!"

"That's three kids Iz, Three of them three babies crying and pooping and screaming in the middle of the night and I work like fourteen hours a day an-and-and I can't breath Iz." Meredith's breathing became shallow her skin felt like it was on fire and blotches of red speared on her chest and arms.

"Take the girls Izzie please." Izzie took the twins from Meredith and sat then down in there play pin.

"Come on Meredith breath deeply through your mouth."

Gracie and Hayden seeing their mothers distress started screaming loudly causing Izzie's daughter to start screaming as well which only fueled Meredith's panic attack even more.

"Come on Meredith you're scaring the kids calm down please."

"I-I'm t-trying. I'm trying."

He must have heard all three of the babies crying because a very disoriented Derek ran down the stairs in only his boxers. He saw Meredith sitting on the kitchen floor gasping for breath and red faced. He jumped into action grabbing a paper bag out of the pantry and handing it to Meredith she took it grateful and put it to her mouth. Briefly and with a pang of guilt Derek thought back to the time when he had fallowed her into a closet where she lost it over her mother and not wanting her to die alone.

He mouthed. "What happened?" To Izzie but something told her to keep her mouth shut. If Meredith had told him she probably wouldn't have freaked out so badly. So she shrugged her shoulders.

After another five minuets Meredith had finally calmed down enough to forgo the paper bag and pick up Hayden while Derek picked up Gracie, while Izzie attended to her own daughter, Jamie. Once they saw that mommy was okay they calmed down and since the shrill cries of the twins had stopped, so had Jamie's.

"Are you okay?" Derek asked.

Meredith nodded without meeting his eyes, she patted her daughters back soothingly. "Yeah, lets get the girls ready for their birthday."

XXXXXXXXXX

"Cake time and then presents!" Izzie yelled from the Kitchen she came into the living room holding two Mini cakes that were the twins and the twins alone. Derek was fallowing closely behind her with a much larger cake that was for everyone else. Izzie sat the cakes in front of the two one year olds and kissed each of there cheeks, while Meredith lit the candle on all three cakes. Hayden and Gracie stared at the cakes in front of them with a fascinated expression.

"Happy Birthday to you,

Happy birthday to you.

Happy Birthday Hayden and Gracie

Happy Birthday to you."

Meredith blew the candles out for her daughters and laughed when Gracie stuck both fist into her cake and then preceded to stuff what she grabbed into her mouth. Hayden watched her sister curiously and then fallowed her example, half a cake and a million pictures, and a couple towels later they were opening the presents from there many friends and a couple of mothers and kids from the day care at the hospital.

Christina handed Meredith two very neatly wrapped pink presents.

"Owen wrapped them, and picked out the pink paper." Christina said she sounded annoyed but she still smiled at the twins. "I hope to god I have a boy."She said placing a hand on her five month pregnant belly. Christina tried to hide it but she was just as excited about the baby as Owen was. Meredith swallowed hard looking at her closest friends belly. She hoped she had a boy too, that would make Derek very happy.

"Thanks Christina."

"Oh and he picked the present out. I would have never picked such fr-"

"Christina! I love them there so cute!" She was holding up a small pink dress theat had ESG embroidered on it. Derek held a lilac purple one with HSM.

"There very cute." Derek said then he cleared his throat in an attempt to not laugh. "Thanks Hunt."

"Don't let her fool you." The red head said. "She picked those out. She's really a softie" catching the glare Christina was giving him. "And that comment probably just earned me couch duty."

"Sure did." Christina said, Meredith laughed and rolled her eyes. There were some things about her best friend that would never change.

XXXXXXXXXXX

"Good day right? There birthday was perfect." Derek said from the bathroom were he was brushing his teeth.

"Yeah it was." Meredith smiled brightly.

"So are you going to tell me what was wrong this morning?" Derek asked

Meredith smiled weakly at him and climbed into their bed. "I'm pregnant.. Again."

"That's all?" he laughed "You had a panic attack because you were pregnant?"

Meredith nodded. "The twins are a lot to handle Derek, throw another baby into the mix and well it's just to hard."

"I'm going to tell you what I told you when we found out the twins were well twins... We are going to make it through this I promise."

Meredith nodded.

"Am I allowed to be excited now?" He asked.

She smiled and nodded again.

He grinned widely at her and rolled over so that he hovered over her he kissed her deeply moving down to her neck, then her chest and finally kissing every inch of her stomach while Meredith squirmed under him and giggled.

"Hello little baby I'm your daddy, and this..." He said pointing at Meredith "Is your mother, but I bet you already know her."

Meredith let out another beautiful laugh and pulled Derek back up so that she could kiss him again...

"I love you Derek"

"Hm, I love you too."

A/N; Okay so that's it... It's over =( Makes me sad! I hope you enjoyed this story and please read the sequel Calling All Angels! Thank you too all my readers and Reviewers.


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